Feb 3, 2011

Parenthood: reflections

Children and Divorce

 Achieving marriage success takes time and energy, as I have repeatedly established.  But throwing a child into the mix can make the situation even more interesting.  Not only do you have the added financial burdens, but you have serious constraint on your time.  Before having children, married couples are free to spend their time the way they choose, apart from work.  If they want to have date night every night, so be it.  They can sleep in on the weekends, stay out late, and they can take spontaneous road trips.  In other words, their freedom is limitless.  On the financial side, money that could be spent on themselves must be directed towards the child, or affectionately known as the “Money Pit.”  But in any case, having children can also be a blessing.  They bring you pride, they make you want to be better than you are, and they also teach you a lot about life.  Dahlia and I have not yet had children, but are thinking about it.  I have compiled some possible guidelines that will help all of you out there who are in the same situation:

1. Don’t over-analyze:  the situation will never be perfect to have a kid.  If you are waiting for things to be just right, that will never happen.  Instead, follow your gut in determining if you want to start a family
2. Be aware:  When you do start a family, be aware that everything will change.  It is not necessarily all bad, but it can be overwhelming.  Make sure to give yourself time to adjust to the new lifestyle
3. Have a sense of humor:  During those times when your patience is near gone, take those moments to smile about the little things.  There are things that can be changed, and there are things that cannot.  Sometimes it is how we adjust our own attitude that can affect everything
4. Be patient:  Your life doesn’t just revolve around you and your wants.  Being a parent means giving of yourself for your children, sacrificing for them.  It makes you a better person.

While children can be extremely difficult to raise, for those parents that invest themselves, children will provide a return on investment that will multiply for a lifetime.  A loyal son or daughter will always be there to help you, and to support you later on.  They have the capability of being trustworthy and reliable, someone who will be there for you no matter what.   They are more valuable than silver or gold.  Children can also teach you about what really is important in life, and can also bring moments of laughter and peace.  If you are thinking about starting a family, don’t worry or overthink it.  It could be the best decision you ever made.

Kit Rodgers wishes you a peaceful week!