Mar 21, 2013

Divorce Challenges & Opportunities

Divorce and General Articles, Divorce Mediation

After 18 years of helping over 5,000 people through Alpha Center’s divorce mediation program, I have learned a thing or two about this major life transition. This blog will be my opportunity to share what I have learned about the many ways that divorce impacts lives. You will hear about my strong bias toward mediating divorce rather than hiring divorce litigation attorneys however, the topic for today’s blog is about the “opportunities” that come as a result of divorce.

There is no doubt that divorce is a major life challenge that brings with it a tidal wave of anxiety. Every aspect of your life is upended including your home, finances, family and social lives. Add the guilt, depression and anger that often accompany divorce and you have a perfect storm.

Although we all tend to focus on the negative aspects of the divorce experience, there is real merit in considering all of the positive results of divorce. Many times I have observed people who first come into our divorce mediation program showing all the signs of extreme distress. However, when they leave our divorce mediation program, they do so with a renewed strength and optimism for a brighter future.

Of course this doesn’t happen in every case but I can say one thing definitively; those who work with therapists to guide them through the emotional pain of their divorce are much more likely to let go of the past and embrace the future. Those who “blossom” put their divorce behind them and put their energy toward building a positive post-divorce life. Those who “fade” keep stuck in the past relationship problems and rob themselves of the quality future they deserve.

In my own journey through divorce I too struggled with a dearth of pain, guilt and anxiety. With the help of a great therapist, I started feeling better and making better decisions. Had I not gone through that experience, I would have never been motivated to pioneer Alpha Center, the first divorce mediation center to open in Bucks County, and now with 9 other locations throughout Pennsylvania and New Jersey. Most importantly, I would never have had the opportunity to share the wisdom I gained to help others make wise decisions during and after their divorce.